I work on a college campus. It\’s the season for orientation and parents are herding their kids around checking out the school. I misread my schedule (arrived at 14:00 instead of 4:00 pm) and had a few hours to kill. I decided to take a walk around campus to look at the changing trees. I soon came upon a family that was clearly lost. two parents and a kid. The dad\’s got the map out (upside down) and the mom is asking anyone who will listen for directions. I decided to help.

I stroll up and ask where they\’re headed and am told they\’re looking for one of the libraries. It wouldn\’t be too far out of my way so I decided to take them there. As we\’re walking I make small talk asking what the kid plans to study and whatever. To be helpful, I started pointing things out on the way. This was my fatal error.

As we\’re walking someone interrupts and says \”are you headed to the library?\” I confirmed that we were and allowed them to tag along. I didn\’t go full tour guide and turn around, so as I\’m walking I remain facing forward. I didn\’t notice that a few other families started following behind me. We get to the library and the first family is happy. I turn to leave and someone says \”how about the political science department?\” I check my clock, and think \”what the hell, these people are nice\” and off we went. At this point I have about five families with me. People are asking questions and laughing at my jokes and having a good time.

We get to the next building and it\’s time for me to leave for work. I motion to disband my little entourage and am met with opposition. \”Take us to the English department.\” Some guy says. I was like \”no can do, chief. I gotta go to work\” and it clearly didn\’t register. I tried to tell him that this was an informal tour and I\’m not affiliated with the orientation and he didn\’t understand. \”What the hell kind of tour is this? We paid good money for this orientation. You\’re going to take us to the English department!\” Imagine Mark Derwin\’s character from Accepted. The English department was actually pretty far away so I wouldn\’t be able to get him there without being late to work. He was pretty disrespectful so I decided to dump him instead.

\”To get there it\’s easiest to take a campus shuttle\” I said \”I\’ll walk you to the bus stop.\” He was satisfied with that so off we went. We get to the bus stop and I tell him that I won\’t be riding with him because I\’m only a tour guide for this particular area. Once he gets on the bus he should wait three stops, then get off and meet a new tour guide that will be there waiting. Instead of saying thanks he grumbles out a \”was that so hard?\” and climbs aboard.

Here\’s the kicker. Our campus doesn\’t have its own bus system. I put him on a city bus. Three stops would take him to a grocery store a mile or two off campus. There definitely wasn\’t anyone waiting for him there. I like to think he got what he deserved for being disrespectful.

tl;dr I decided to help a family that was a little lost. Eventually people joined our group and expected me to give a campus tour. They got pissed when I had to bail so I put them on a bus to nowhere.