Sports Illustrated Bosses Insist To Staff That Being Sold To Necrophilic Brand Enthusiasts Is Good

For 65 years, Sports Illustrated has persisted in narrowly covering sports, neglecting those who would like to, say, have their prostates examined in SI-branded medical clinics by doctors wearing SI-branded lab coats, or drape themselves in SI-branded bikinis, or eat an SI-branded hot dog at their kids’ SI-branded sports camp. For all of these people there is, at long last, good news.

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