This is just a rant, I’ll try to keep it short.
Been together 18 years. She went away to her mother’s three times in the past 3 months (8hr drive). She said to bond and visit her hometown. Her stepdad has cancer, is going through chemo for the third time, probably has 2yrs to live.
Found out by accident (I do not check what she does online) she has been in contact with an old boyfriend. Chats (not innocent), long videochats (also included sex talk is what she told me), went out for a drink during the day on her first two visits. Last time she went, she stayed at an airbnb. She did not tell me, I found out. But she did pay using our joint-account. She stayed there by herself, that I know for sure, host talked to her in singularity (not english, there’s a single and plural ‘you’). She said stepdad had chemo next morning and she didn’t want to be at her mom’s. She had things to deal with her half-brother so she couldn’t wait a day. She did not want to tell me, because I wouldn’t have liked it.
I have been trying to break her for three days, told her I don’t believe her, it’s over (I’m always calm and civil). She says nothing happened in real life. Yes, online is almost as bad, she said sorry. Said she loved the attention, to feel 18 again. Yes, she has narcissistic tendencies, they cheat. But they also crave attention, use others for that. It could be that. Her sex-drive is pretty non-existent, so I highly doubt it would be for that.
We have one life (three year old, business, friends). I do not want that to be broken up. I would lose 50% of my kid’s youth, my income (business is indivisible, so would have to sell), even some friends. Not interested in dating other people at all. Not doing counseling, she would never open up to someone else about something like that. Would repeat the same things she already told me.
She could be telling the truth. How do you deal with this?